@Mytwoscentz: I'm at my most vulnerable when I'm trying to spell Chrysanthemum
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@DanMentos: *guy struggling to pick his teeth with a toothpick* Narrator: Don't you wish there were a better way? -commercial for business cards
@truegritrumble: (Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy.
@Halbeerz: After what happened to Lance Armstrong I'm kinda worried they are gonna come after my bowling trophies
@JermHimselfish: I need to hire someone to follow me around and abruptly drag a needle across a record every time that I enter a room.