@DadandBuried: I'm at my parenting best when I randomly yell out "be careful!" every few minutes without looking up from my phone.
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@InternetHippo: SUPERHERO: I alienate my loved ones to protect them from danger ME: Me too, that’s also my reason
@mrjohndarby: Father in law: How are you preparing for the future? Me: I buy Monopoly games in case one day Monopoly money becomes legal tender.
@Reverend_Scott: Elephant 911: What's ur em- Elephant: MOUSE Elephant 911: WHERE Elephant: FLOOR Elephant 911: JUMP ON THE TABLE [table breaking noises]