@abhorrent_wife: I'm at my sexiest when I find the grown out patch of hair on the outside of my ankle I missed with the razor the last 17 times I shaved.
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@mellimelle: Each year I get invited to go on vacation with the same group of annoying people but I can't say no because they're my husband & children.
@BCMontgo: Me: I'll definitely do it tomorrow. Morgan Freeman: He wouldn't. Me: *chasing Morgan out of my house with broom* Why are you here again?