@Brianhopecomedy: I'm at that age where all of my sentences start like this one.
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@ericsshadow: My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
@SamDeLanche: 7: Dad, why did the Tooth Fairy write me a check? Me: I don't know but she needs you to hold on to it until the 15th.
@EmaSlema: I just saw a guy put a hamburger between 2 pancakes so I proposed on the spot and he just said "no" so he's obviously the smartest man alive