@Brianhopecomedy: I'm at that age where all of my sentences start like this one.
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@NoticablyBacon: Me: If moths like light so much why haven't they all flown into the Sun? Boss:does anyone have any work related questions?
@noogscorner: Maybe that neighbor without a Wi-Fi password isn't an idiot. Maybe he's generous. And an idiot.
@KeetRidley: "Hey, your fly's down" Oh shit.. *pets fly's head* you'll be alright little buddy, chin up.. we'll get you some new wings
@JasonLastname: Go into a bathroom stall and write: "For A Good Time Call Your Mother. She Misses You & Enjoys Hearing Your Voice."