@MythicPicnic: I'm at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
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@trevso_electric: The leading method of suicide in Albania is attempting to kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter.
@melpraktis: When people say "You look so familiar" responding with "Were we in prison together?" is almost always a conversation killer.
@LaziestCanine: *beats a guitar hero song on expert mode* *changes Twitter bio to "musician/songwriter"*