@MythicPicnic: I'm at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
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@LosLos__: HR: You said: You're "moist" welcome? Me: Autocorrect. HR: You're fine. Me: Sweet! HR: I meant: you're fired. Autocorrect.
@AnOrangeSNES: Things I learned today: 1) Gel is not short for jelly 2) KY isn't an acronym for "Krazy Yummy" 3) I'm not allowed to make my own lunch
@AaronFullerton: "Your present is too big and weirdly shaped to wrap. Oh! What if I buried it in the yard?!" -me, genuinely, earlier today. Wife said no.
@WilliamAder: What's the point of making people like Paul McCartney and Elton John knights if they're not going to joust?