@envydatropic: I'm at the age where "pop, lock, and drop" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves
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@CulturedRuffian: Sorry I asked if your grandparents were part of the Halloween display at your house.
@SwedishCanary: I had a call from a charity asking me to donate old clothes for starving people. I told them anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving
@theames: Whenever people announce "I'm marrying my best friend" for a second I always think "oh shit what about your boyfriend, he seemed so nice".