@envydatropic: I'm at the age where "pop, lock, and drop" is about my knee giving out instead of dance moves
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@Sickayduh: "I'm going to the post office. I need a place stamp" Wtf is that? "I dunno but this envelope says I need one here"
@Birdhumms: "Your sense of entitlement is destroying our relationship" *me to my dog while trying to eat without having to share.
@KentWGraham: ME: My New Year’s resolution is to eat less WIFE: Good! ME: (very, very quietly) …vegetables.