@Spaziotwat: I'm biased: I have four buttocks.
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@Shock_Monster: Him: Sir, you don't have the experience or fitness to be a fireman. Me: But, I got a mustache! Him: That's cat fur attached with frosting.
@tdwyer618: The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
@DamnitJosh: "Better to be pissed off than pissed on!" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I'm not angry or covered in piss.
@TheRolo: [Chased by cops on foot] *Turns corner and lays DVD of The Notebook on floor* *Cops get lost in Ryan Gosling's eyes* *Makes clean getaway*