@0hJuliette: I'm bored, think I'll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on
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@DurtMcHurtt: Sorry I changed your ringtone to Salt-N-Pepa's "push it" and called you a bunch of times during your colonoscopy.
@NotJPo: I hate when I get so stoned that I can barely feel my legs and arms and antlers and wings.
@notfaizzy: ...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool.