@0hJuliette: I'm bored, think I'll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on
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@shutupmikeginn: Banned from Yelp for including "the rat seems to be vulnerable to attacks from behind or when adjusting mask" in my Chuck E Cheese review
@juneohara65: Nothing puts me in touch with my mortality like stepping onto a downward escalator.
@magicChopstick: Spider Man, Spider Man Chillin' in his camper van Kickin' back, drinkin' booze head to toe in sweet tattoos Hang on That is not Spider Man
@IamEnidColeslaw: There is a dude in a fedora sitting next to you on the bus. Is he: A. a ghost hunter B. a virgin C. a sword collector D. all of the above