@FilthyRichmond: I'm calling about the poster for your missing cat. Why not ask the guy who took that picture? Just kidding, I ran over it.
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@AbbyHasIssues: I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
@MarcusTheToken: My neighbors are arguing. So I threw 6 shoes in the dryer. They haven't said a word since.
@chuuew: Isn't it annoying when someone sits next to you in an empty cinema? I didn't think so but that's what my new best friend is telling security
@CulturedRuffian: My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives.