@AlisonLeiby: I'm calling Facebook "Mom" now because all it does is tell me who from my high school is engaged and remind me about my cousins' birthdays.
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@DanielRCarrillo: "I'm a green onion and I'm here to say, I can be enjoyed most every day." -A rapscallion
@MartaEffing: [sexy time] Me: Let me be your fantasy. Him: It's a Star Wars thing. Me: Say no more. *leaves* *comes back dressed as Yoda*
@LuckoftheDraw86: Vodka giveth and vodka taketh away... It giveth me a hangover and taketh away my underpants. Amen.