@AlisonLeiby: I'm calling Facebook "Mom" now because all it does is tell me who from my high school is engaged and remind me about my cousins' birthdays.
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@Jenny4ashley: [speed dating] Me: Have you ever choked someone? "No I would never do something like that" Me: Next
@Drivelodeon: Lady, you misunderstood. When I asked if you would have my kids I didn't mean sex and babies. I meant take the ones I already have.
@iAmDelFreaky: *breathing becomes rapid and pulse starts racing* I...I've never felt...SO ALIVE! *holds up 11th nugget from 10 piece box, for all to see*