@ieatanddrink: I'm confused about plants
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@SteveSuckington: [reading test results] "It looks like you're gonna be just fine" [nurse whispers in ear] "Lol my bad u got like 6 weeks" -Steve Harvey M.D.
@huntigula: if I accidentally respond "you too" after a fast-food clerk tells me to enjoy my meal, I shove some fries in their mouth so it isn't awkward
@My_Higherness: Educated Twitter about to come and differentiate for us between an earthquake and tremor. We don't care...as long as there is shaking.
@GrantTanaka: kinda sucks that there's only one day a year it's acceptable to put on a diaper and shoot arrows at people