@thatguyJA: I'm confused, why does the Gangnam Style guy want to launch a nuclear attack on the US?
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@LaziestCanine: *beats a guitar hero song on expert mode* *changes Twitter bio to "musician/songwriter"*
@Dutch_50: The way to a man's heart is thru his stomach. At least that's what the crazy woman with the butcher knife kept saying at the murder scene.
@Izianikapani: I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a moustache.
@Donna_McCoy: Got a booty text from my ex-husband so I did the logical thing and forwarded it to his new girlfriend.