@N0pantz: I'm convinced some of you are here because someone didn't properly lock your cage.
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@mstluvstrinkets: Playing play doh w/ 3 is just her ordering me to "make elephant! Now teapot!" As if I have the artistic ability to create more than a ball.
@david8hughes: Me: coming to the office Xmas party? Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look
@KatieBurnett: I don't get people who stay virgins until after marriage. Its like buying a car without having sex with it first
@blade_funner: I want to be the person in every McDonald's whose job is to sit on the sandwiches just before they go into the bag.