@N0pantz: I'm convinced some of you are here because someone didn't properly lock your cage.
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@HousewifeOfHell: [At historic site] Guide: Questions? Me: What's the wifi password? G: I meant about 19th century life. M: Oh....Dost thou have thy password?
@superdadatron: My wife is in a bad mood. I think her boyfriend forgot their anniversary. Way to go, dude. Now we all suffer...
@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them