@plumbur: I'm convinced that my washing machine is a portal to a world where one-legged men hop around in my socks.
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@drwgmawr: Sneezed while doing sign language and accidentally threw up a gang sign. 17 drug lords are chasing me down the street. Send help.
@panmidwest: INTERVIEWER: strengths? ME: I'm good at presenting both sides of an argument INTERVIEWER: great ME: which could also be a weakness…
@badbanana: "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to dye." Auric Goldfinger giving instructions at his Easter egg decorating party.
@horselythighs: Elijah Wood and Toby Mcguire: whoever dies first gets played by the other in the biopic