@TheCiscoKidder: I'm convinced that my wife took 9 years of education at 3 different colleges just to win all the arguments for the rest of my life.
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@jazmasta: No, I can't make it to your hair washing party tonight. I'm washing my h... erm i mean my dog ate my grandmother is dead.
@just1fool: You know what they say about a man with average sized feet. It's really easy to find shoes for him.
@joejwest: HANG GLIDER COP: I see a crime happening directly below me [glides on] Not much I can do
@caribdonna: My husband said I was passive aggressive so I punched him in the face and said well, you're half right.