@TheCiscoKidder: I'm convinced that my wife took 9 years of education at 3 different colleges just to win all the arguments for the rest of my life.
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@dafloydsta: [date] HER: So do you like Star Wars? ME: Oh yeah HER: Who's your favorite character? ME: *nervously looking at smudged notes* Yoga
@hpb777: I'm at my most British when the Benny Hill theme song plays while I'm half naked & being chased by my TC's wife who found me in his closet.
@TedBundybitch: Don't mean to brag but I can turn a pair of fat pants into skinny jeans in like 3.5 months