@alli_win: I'm convinced that Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
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@Lunatic_times: when the lady in the elevator burst into tears I did the only thing a man could do in the situation. I fell to the floor and played dead.
@AnniemuMary: Instead of saying a package is Family Size, it'd be more helpful if it listed a time frame, like 3 Hours Worth of Cookies.
@iGreenMonk: I dont care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
@TedOfficialPage: If Mitt Romney was president, we'd blame everything on him. "Damn why is it so cold outside? It wasn't this cold when Obama was president."