@AimeeHelene1: I'm convinced that this trip to Toronto will end with my being arrested for not being nice enough.
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@AimeeHelene1: Wait, what's that noise? Is there a dying cat outside? Oh...no...it's just a 50 yr old man racing a remote control car down the road.
@SamGrittner: I want to become a librarian so bad. I love books but I love telling people to shut up even more.
@MrMildSauce: It's not working. I've napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
@thepunningman: [hamster construction site] "Colin, you seen Dave?" I left him manning the concrete mixer "Oh no" [cut to Dave having the time of his life]