@AimeeHelene1: I'm convinced that this trip to Toronto will end with my being arrested for not being nice enough.
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@LeBearGirdle: Wife: what are you watching? Me: See II Wife: don't you mean Saw II? Me: not till it's over
@RadOrDie: I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends.
@mstluvstrinkets: I like to slip a Honey Boo Boo episode in every once in awhile to remind my husband that it could be worse.
@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: At a guess, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: Hardly any D: That's excellent ME [swigs vodka] But I'm a terrible guesser