@AimeeHelene1: I'm convinced that this trip to Toronto will end with my being arrested for not being nice enough.
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@Femi_17: Can I call you? Crush: Yes Errm, I called but you didn't pick Crush: I said you could call, I never said I'd pick up
@TheBoydP: [Newlywed Game] Bob Eubanks: Describe your wife as an animal Me: *flips card* Owl Wife: Who? Me: You Wife: Who? *Bob and I high five*
@NoogsCorner: Cop: You been drinking?nnMe: No.nnCop: Say the alphabet backwards.nnMe: Alphabet the. nnCop: Hilarious. Say each letter.nnMe: Each letter.
@Sarcasticsapien: Me: How are you? Coworker: I can't complain. Me: *sticks finger in his coffee* Coworker: I just paid for that! Me: I knew you were lying.