@AimeeHelene1: I'm convinced that this trip to Toronto will end with my being arrested for not being nice enough.
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@DurtMcHurtt: Whenever someone mentions rat poison part of me imagines a tiny rodent cover band playing 80s power ballads.
@daplusk: [on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before? Her: No, I'd love to Me: Same Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim
@donni: ME: Can I have the job please INTERVIEWER: I meant, like, questions ABOUT the job ME: Ah, yes. About the job: Can I have it