@MauriceBlitz: I'm convinced when squirrels run the road, nearly missing your car, it must be some kind of squirrel gang initiation.
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@klickitatstreet: I'd only marry someone if they seemed like they'd be pretty easygoing during our divorce.
@novicefather: My toddler is learning to speak so I'm trying to teach him some phrases for social success. Things like "true dat" and "pass the gravy."
@AimeeHelene1: *holds door for someone* Them: This weather... Me: No. *starts pulling door closed on them* T: *pulls on door* Me: *holding door closed* No.