@bokhootie: IM CRYING AT HIS REPLY
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@craiguito: If your partner says "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new," "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in a traffic jam
@EndhooS: [storming out of the bedroom in a novelty banana costume] YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID THINGS WERE GETTING TOO PREDICTABLE KAREN...
@topaz_kell: "I can hear my annoying neighbor crying to Adele's new song as she throws away her empty, clinking beer bottles." - my neighbor