@bokhootie: IM CRYING AT HIS REPLY
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@OfficialMizGin: Want to know the real reason girls go to the bathroom together? The air hockey table. All our bathrooms have one.
@joejwest: DAD: Sorry it's not a pony, honey. Best I could do LITTLE GIRL: [riding gigantic earthworm] This is Princess Doomtube. She shall be feared
@ComedyCentral: "If anyone has any reason Kim & Kanye should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." -Taylor Swift's moment of revenge