@bokhootie: IM CRYING AT HIS REPLY
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@AimeeHelene1: Sick of obnoxious ring tones in the office, so I've set mine to the sound of a girl screaming (horror movie style).
@Contwixt: My niece asked me what it's like to be an uncle, so we got a feral cat from a shelter, chased it around for a bit, then took it back.
@TheToddWilliams: [Bethsaida 28 AD] BAKER: Such a huge crowd…I'm gonna sell so many loaves "Five loaves please" BAKER: Huh? "Jesus is here" BAKER: Sonuva
@iSamJack: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.