@Swishergirl24: I'm developing an app that makes a cricket sound effect at the end of my coworkers' stories.
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@kyle_thatisall: The years 2045. 90s kids are old &wrinkly. Grandma tosses seeds to pigeons "Go insane go insane throw sum glitter make it rain" she whispers
@Reverend_Scott: [hands mom flowers on Mother's day] thanks for a life of sacrifice, these cost me twenty bucks
@1_swarthy_dude: Boss:"I'll need those projections done Aesop!" Me:"You mean ASAP?" Boss:"No, I mean a parable that uses animals to convey a moral lesson."