@Molly_Kats: I'm doing my own taxes so I'll probably be in jail this time next year.
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@iwearaonesie: [movie] *guy hugs woman from behind while she cuts vegetables* wife: Aww me*does same thing* wife:ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME LOSE A FINGER?!
@brianbowman73: How to cow tip: First, sneak up behind the cow. Next, get into a wide stance. Finally, slip the money into it's bell.
@mommy_cusses: Once upon a time, You weren't listening to the story mommy was reading to you so everyone in the book dies. The end.