@meganamram: I'm donating my body to science. I'm getting sick of it taking up space in the freezer.
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@themiltron: [first day as a coroner] me: he died at 11:42AM detective: are you positive me: it's hard with all this death but i'm hanging in there
@BareChesty: If the tv show "Cops" has taught me anything, it's to stay away from ppl with blurry faces. They always cause trouble.
@juliussharpe: Oscar Pistorius has the worst alibi ever. Who the hell would break into your house to rob your bathroom?