@meganamram: I'm donating my body to science. I'm getting sick of it taking up space in the freezer.
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@GeauxSaints79: M: Are you gonna eat that baby? Lady: What!!?! Go away you Sick-O' M: Sorry! I saw you putting it on Instagram & figured.. Never mind.
@farleftcoast: Text from husband: Where are you at? Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.
@murrman5: [senses date is losing interest in me] "my uncle was the guy who did the rap in Red Red Wine"