@meganamram: I'm donating my body to science. I'm getting sick of it taking up space in the freezer.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What sound do dogs make? 3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses? 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs? 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.
@AZHORSEMOM77: I act really tough for a person who spent $40 on cookies I dont like because a girl scout was crying
@XplodingUnicorn: 6-year-old: Can I have some Oreos? Me: You have the flu. 6: I’m sick, not dead.