@CatherineLMK: I'm dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Coastiefish: This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too. Yo bro, you gotta get a car.
@RidiculousSheri: [on a date] *don't let him know you're a bird* Him: I'll drive us. I just had my car cleaned and detailed. Me: *poops all over windshield*
@OBiiieeee: I almost hit a deer tonight. But then he took back what he said about my mom and we hugged it out. Back to having zero haters, feels good.
@notalogin: [Interview] CEO: Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm? GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING: