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@just1fool: Last time I went to the doctor he prescribed constipation medicine to clear up my earwax. He was right about me being a shithead apparently.
@280Jokes: When I was younger I used to sell home security alarms door to door. I was always selling the most security alarms out of anyone else I worked with. "What's your secret?". If I went to call on a house and nobody was home, then I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
@ComedicBust: Our eyes met. Our hearts touched. He was the one. We fell in love. He used a flash mob to propose. I'm single now.
@Nyx422: This bum said everyone who gives him $10 gets a "special" surprise in the alley. My gut says no......but my heart says its a puppy!