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@LorieGZ: My family seemed kinda happy that the rice I made yesterday fell on the floor before I could serve it tonight.
@boring_as_heck: Damn girl, is your dad an astronaut? Because I'd like to meet him. Please let me meet your astronaut dad.
@millercycle: Whenever I’m pissed off at my wife, I go to the thrift store and replace her favorite jeans with the same style two sizes smaller.