@ItsDumbTweets: I'm dying right now 😂
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@GaryJanetti: Apple is developing an iPhone that pregnant women can swallow so fetuses can go online since they have nothing else to do in there.
@bromanconsul: congrats to those who made it onto my "Not A Lizard" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum.
@sarcasticmommy4: My son asked for help with his math homework as we pulled into the school parking lot. Then I laughed & laughed & told him to get out.