@KateWhineHall: I'm eating a vegan lunch today. Sure, it's six sleeves of Smarties and a Diet Coke, but I'm still better than you.
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@truegritrumble: WIFE: What're the kids doing? ME: Playing lawn darts. W: Is it safe? M: Hope not. W: M: W: Wtf M: Can't afford to send both to college, Jen
@Kyle_Lippert: There are 5 things I really hate: 1) Racists. 2) People who can't spell. 3) Math 4) Whyte people
@byrdie_num_num: Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps.