@that1bish27: I'm eating this banana sideways so my husband doesn't get the wrong idea.
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@MooseAllain: In a hotel room. The dog's growling and whimpering. My wife's worried the neighbours will think we're having sex.
@TheHyyyype: WAITER: questions about the menu? ME: is it recycled paper? WAITER: no, i meant about what's on it ME: oh. what kind of ink is this?