@that1bish27: I'm eating this banana sideways so my husband doesn't get the wrong idea.
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@IcyAndSpicy: Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life. I need sex to help my sex life, not food.
@rachel2manypaws: The toughest part of any long distance relationship is the 6 hour drive to slash their tires.
@Jake_Vig: The year is 2035. The only movies are superhero reboots. Anyone caught looking up from their phone is fined $100.
@xeyednpainless: If you tell me to "chillax," I will "chillstab" you and "chillaugh" while you bleed to "chilldeath."