@that1bish27: I'm eating this banana sideways so my husband doesn't get the wrong idea.
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@Reverend_Scott: Me: "...american cheese, toasted." Her: "What kind of cheese?" Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted?" Me: "I'll just make it myself."
@LuvPug: I could probably survive about a week in the wilderness eating only the food I spill on my shirt any given day.
@UnFitz: Me: Hi, mom. I'm feeling tremendous guilt. Mom: Why? Me: Just thought I'd save you the effort.
@canadasandra: the host of the party told me to make myself comfortable so I went back home to bed