@ByYourLogic: i'm every guy who says he's taking a twitter break for mental health reasons and then returns 6 hours later
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@fireland: One man. One dream. One crazy summer. Three wizards. Fourteen cobras. Ten thousand condoms. I dunno, I'm just listing things.
@Brampersandon_: [leaving a party] GF (holding 2 identical jackets): which one is yours ME: whichever one has a pancake in the pocket
@iwearaonesie: watching the kids play hide and seek in the park and mine just hid behind a chain link fence at least we don't have to save for college