@ByYourLogic: i'm every guy who says he's taking a twitter break for mental health reasons and then returns 6 hours later
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@JohnLyonTweets: I wish the Antiques Roadshow guy had just told me how much my swords were worth without getting all nosy about where the blood came from.
@SteveSuckington: It's amazing that no one at this swim up bar has had to go to the bathroom in the last three hours.
@djdarrellripley: I can be a real tiger in bed. No, wait, wait... What's that animal that plays dead?
@hurlarious: I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops