@BrettDruck: I posted "I did it!!!" to Facebook and got a ton of congratulations but nobody realized I was confessing.

@lifecoachfit: The most stable relationship I've had is with a guy at the gym who has no idea we've been dating for the past year.

@better_off_dad: ‘I want to see other families.’ ~Me, saying grace at Thanksgiving

@Donna_McCoy: I update my Facebook picture to a jail mugshot over the holidays so my family will go visit someone else.

@MarcusTheToken: I am really shocked that there is not a website devoted solely to the most clever Wi-Fi names of all-time.