@thatUPSdude: Hey people that knock on locked restroom doors, what are you expecting? "hey I'm taking a shit but come on in and join me"

@gabriellejwhite: “What if a dumpster could yell at you” - the thought that led to this website probably. Goodnight

@KalvinMacleod: ME: I can’t find my sandals WIFE: did you look everywhere? ME: yes WIFE: even down ME: yes even dow—I did not put those on

@DontFollowDave: Zelda is the name of the PRINCESS, the guy in green who saves her is named Luigi, idiots.

@OrvllShrednbchr: Quit my job a few years ago because my boss was an idiot. Now I'm self-employed. My boss is still an idiot.