@brianbowman73: Interviewer: Name some of your weaknesses.
Me: I procrastinate. Haphazard, cantankerous...
Interviewer: Strengths?
Me: Vocabulary?
@DaddyJew: Doctor: are u high?
Me: no, why?
D: bc ur dressed like Batman
M: well maybe Batman dresses like me
D:...
M: alright yea im a lil high
@TheBoydP: [God making sausages]
Angel: What's next?
God: Take these extra parts, grind them up and stuff them in a casing
*1 angel faints, 2 vomit*
@Writethatdown12: Trainer: "ok, lets warm up 1st....wait, where are you going!?"
Me: "tanning bed"
@whostrevors: A moment of silence for the fat friend in a group of girls who can't jump high enough to be in the "mid air" beach picture :(
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