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@CubanaMama82: I'm famous people used to have talent years old.
@MartaEffing: I got arrested for being drunk and disorderly, but I was just laughing hysterically at the cost of organic vegetables.
@Diversion50: "There's someone out there for everyone".
A really vague Receptionist.
@jeannerbeaner: "No more self-deprecating tweets," I whisper fatly.
@PetrickSara: What I say:
What my kid hears:
Find a spot in the yard where I can't see you so I constantly imagine you've been kidnapped.
@mynameisntdave: LOCAL BOTS ARE SICK AND TIRED OF PRETENDING TO BE HOT LOCAL SINGLES AND WANT YOU TO ACCEPT THEM AS THEY ARE; LINES OF CODE AND NOTHING MORE