@RidiculousSheri: I'm fat, but not accidentally give birth in the Walmart bathroom because I didn't know I was pregnant, fat.
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@IamEnidColeslaw: That awkward moment when I tried starting a slow clap in the hospital after my uncle died.
@SinfulShelly: I scare off men like I'm some kind of evil clown hiding in their closet. "I'm not a clown!" I shouted as I sniffed his sweater vest.
@Xalqee: How frustrating would it be if you turned into a zombie before you had a chance to put your dentures in?