@stewnami: I'm fat, so when I get mad, I get massive aggressive.
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@Reel2Dialog2: Dear woman I saw jog down a busy street, run into a liquor store, buy two bottles of wine, and then jog back home, Come back to me.
@pixelatedboat: "They call me Mr Six Hours," I told her, trying to make it sound like a sex thing not the amount of time my head was stuck in a beehive for
@crylenol: *Ouija board begins spelling* H-A-V-E_S-O-M-E "Ooooh, spooky" G-R-A-N-D-C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N "Dammit Grandma, haunt someone else"
@aka_fatman: Yesterday, I told my son about the Tooth Fairy. Today, I find 33 teeth under his pillow. Clearly they are not his. I am very, very afraid.