@WilliamAder: I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
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@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: What did you just do? CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she’s after both of us*
@knot_eye: Me: You say all the right things. Her: I didn't say anything. Me: Shhh Don't ruin this for me.
@Shelts99: If you've watched the scene in Platoon where he gets shot in the back 44 times. You've pretty much seen my reaction to a wedding invite.