@WilliamAder: I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.
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@LostFelicia: Him: You're on a diet. Why buy all this candy? Me: Because the alternative is called stealing.
@3sunzzz: [Walmart] 3: *drops cracker, picks up cracker, starts to eat it* Me: GIVE ME THAT! We don't eat off of the floor here, this isn't Target!