@TraciRos: I'm forever disappointed that a group of squids isn't called a squad.
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@WilliamAder: Not to brag, but I can unhook a bra using just a bent paper clip, some WD-40, and my reading glasses.
@Angrea: OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
@Sickayduh: DAD: What happened to your car? SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now