@KentWGraham: I’m forgetful. My wife is rememberful.
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@AndrewNadeau0: 1ST MAN: I'm sorry, I- 1ST HORSE: It's fine. M: H: M: It's just why BOTH walk? So I thoug- H: I said it's fine Gary, stop bringing it up!
@BeardSpice: [sitting in doctor's office] It's bad news. You have a rare case of contagious memory loss. "What do you mean?" I can't remember.
@djdarrellripley: Him: I'll pay for dinner. Me: I want to pay. Him: I'll feel better if you let me pay. Me: Well, if your health is involved, go ahead...
@WillGeorgese: “Relax. It’s not a competition.” “Right. That’s what I say.” “But I said it first.”