@MondayPajamas: I'm "friends with beneficiaries" years old.
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@marebytes: I have a fantasy that a big strong man shows up at my door, comes in unannounced & slowly, quietly & methodically renovates my bathroom
@KentWGraham: I used to sing my daughter to sleep at night, which is probably why her first word was “Stop.”
@joejwest: DAD: Sorry it's not a pony, honey. Best I could do LITTLE GIRL: [riding gigantic earthworm] This is Princess Doomtube. She shall be feared