@MondayPajamas: I'm "friends with beneficiaries" years old.
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@Kendragarden: I said "Margarita" 3 times in the mirror instead of "Bloody Mary" and now a ghost mariachi band is forcing me to play maracas for them.
@Mr_Kapowski: HR said it's not necessary but I like my sickness to be taken seriously by having my mom send in an email validating my degree of sickness
@CoopSoSarc: I was feeling great about myself when I saw my number on the womens bathroom wall 'for a good time'. Then I recognized my hand writing.