@Xoolun: I'm getting worried about this Ebola virus.
I mean, I've got Norton but.
@RealDMK: "Daddy, I want to watch Dora." Sweetie this is Dora. It's the one where she plays an NBA basketball game against the Brooklyn Nets
@Ivsy01: Group of 12 year old girls: We're scared of boys. Me: OMG, me tooooooo!
@UniqueDude2: Enter new password
Must contain number
Must contain PHONE number
<no u creep>
Password not recognized
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Got thrown out of the theater during the Superman movie but was able to sneak back in by putting on glasses.
@GuyThe_Guy: I didn't want to make a scene but not fluffing my wife's pillows should get the point across that I don't appreciate the way she spoke to me