@kmdk83: I'm giving up my husband for Lent.
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@joeljeffrey: I didnt know how to tell this guy at Home Depot his fly was down... and he didnt know how to say thanks when I tried to help him zip it up.
@JohnLyonTweets: Inmate: Did you bring a cake with a file in it? Me: *holding file folder containing cake photos* I may have misunderstood.
@PinkCamoTO: It's like grandma always said... Make sure you put everything in the medicine cabinet back where you found it or you won't be invited back.