@kmdk83: I'm giving up my husband for Lent.
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@Demented_Jokes: I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.
@KevinBuffalo: Honey, I gained weight to prevent women from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you.
@jonnysun: date: so wat do u wana do next me: why dont we slip into somthing more…convertible [climbs into ferrari] date: omg wow is this ur car me: no