@meganamram: I'm giving up spellcheck for Lant
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@GrowlyGrego: Choose your own adventure: S O F A T H E R E Y E S P O P Dad sees a soda? Moving a couch for dad? Obese girl with a vision problem?
@iTomFoolery: We’ve had the selfie and now the selfie stick. So when will our phones be renamed Selfones.
@FattMernandez: I have this theory that McDonald's hamburgers are actually made out of their employees. That's why they're always hiring.
@TheTweetOfGod: What a tense, tense day 4/19 was. Maybe tomorrow, somehow, will be a little mellower.