@sageboggs: I'm glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's really come in handy this parallelogram season
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@scorpicpanda: 5: "I went to Banana Land. The bananas danced & had flowers & tiny pandas on their heads." Me: "I'll have whatever that kid's having."
@Brampersandon_: *Trains lightning bugs to spell* Karen, they have a message for u WILL YOU M- "Omg Yes!" OVE OUT? Oh good. Here I packed your bags already.
@TheSwanDon: Girls quote Marilyn Monroe relationship and life advice so much its almost like she wasn't a three time divorced, drug-addicted alcoholic.
@copymama: After days stranded at sea on the edge of starvation, my 4yo is rescued & given bread: “This has seeds on it,” she scoffs, pushing it away.