@NASHterpiece: I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing.
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@AristotlesNZ: Boss: Got good news & bad news. Me: Ya? Him: I'm leaving for another job. Me: Ok..Whats the bad news? Him: .. Me: You planning to come back?
@QwertyJones3: Sorry for shouting "go go gadget personality" while you were speaking. Please, continue.
@Flattliner: I'm introducing a new calendar system: B.C. = Before Children. A.D. = After Divorce.
@FunkyFresh_79: Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Me: PEOPLE ARE TAGGING ME IN PICTURES ON FACEBOOK AND I'M NOT EVEN IN THEM!