@SardonicTart: I'm glad my office has this giant shredder because otherwise I don't know what I'd do with all this work.
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@theroneman: Captain: You’re suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop.
@WilliamAder: Can't wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time.
@sacca: Anyone who says "Let's all put our phones down and talk with each other," is just running out of battery and needs a charge.