@SardonicTart: I'm glad my office has this giant shredder because otherwise I don't know what I'd do with all this work.
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@GermanFreckles: No, cough syrup, you're not grape flavoured. Have you ever tasted a grape? You taste like death and the tears of small children, not grape.
@Donna_McCoy: Rules for a happy marriage: 3. Separate bank accounts 2. Separate data plans 1. Separate bathrooms
@DanKCharnley: I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like "Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."
@JustDontBugMe: When I found out that my neighbour is scared of dogs I bought one And I have never seen him since.