@SardonicTart: I'm glad my office has this giant shredder because otherwise I don't know what I'd do with all this work.
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@stockejock: I'm ready to be a father now that I've successfully fed a goldfish for a week-he's so happy, he's relaxing & floating on his back...wait...
@Tmoney68: I think I'm finally becoming more mature. Now when I watch Spongebob I usually agree with Squidward.
@UnicornSyrup: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
@sirmunchie: My ex wife claims I have "commitment issues" like I didn't just wait in line for 30 minutes to get a hot dog at Costco.