@Sickayduh: I'm glad the guy who came up with "No means no" didn't do the whole dictionary
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@BuckyIsotope: [on game show] Choose a door for a goat or a new car "I'll take door #2" You've won the car! *sees it's a Kia* "Can I have the goat instead"
@johnroderick: Planning to edit the three Hobbit movies into one watchable movie. Should I use Instagram or Vine?
@Shingaboop: Coworker: GOOD MORNING! Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee Coworker: But you don't drink coffee Me: Exactly