@KentWGraham: I’m glad they call themselves attorneys-at-law. I wouldn’t want to accidently hire an attorney-at-baking or an attorney-at-pottery.
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@Sickayduh: Good cop: WHAT ARE YOU DOING - HE WAS UNARMED Dog cop: *plants a vacuum cleaner on body*
@DirtMcTurd: Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher and she ended up pregnant.
@rhysjamesy: So cute how this taxi driver is taking an unnecessarily long route and driving slowly so he gets to spend more time with me.
@spacej_me: Some people have sex to make a baby but I prefer the old fashioned way of capturing a wild baby, and that's how I ended up in jail