@KentWGraham: I’m glad we evolved from apes. If we evolved from chameleons, we’d constantly be walking into each other.
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@DurtMcHurtt: [girl I'm talking to playfully touches my arm] Wait, do that again I wasn't flexing.
@CulturedRuffian: I've never run a marathon, but once I walked real fast across a parking lot because Krispy Kreme was about to close.
@Matt_The_1st: Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.