@KentWGraham: I’m glad we evolved from apes. If we evolved from chameleons, we’d constantly be walking into each other.
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@AGreaterMonster: If Twitter adds an edit button you'll retweet "I like kittens" and ten minutes later it'll say "I drink period blood."
@StellaRtwot: I bet you the first person to invent puzzles was a woman that ripped up a picture of her husband.
@briangaar: Son, let me tell you the story of the Three Bears. A girl broke into their house and they ate her. Stay out of my stuff, goodnight
@causticbob: My wife sent me an image of herself which really enticed me into coming home from work early. It was a picture of her at the airport.