@markydoodoo: I'm gods gift to women if god only shopped at Rite Aid.
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@BuckyIsotope: [stranded on deserted island] *spells out message in rocks* WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD
@TheWoodenslurpy: Most embarrassing thing a human being can experience is publicly unrequited love. Second is having the noisy grocery cart.
@knot_eye: Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready.
@JustASmirk: My wife is the most beautiful, intelligent person standing right behind me reading my Twitter feed.