@markydoodoo: I'm gods gift to women if god only shopped at Rite Aid.
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@Jandalize: Got excited because I found $20 in the laundry. Then I remembered my kids don't have jobs and the money was probably mine.
@jonnysun: im more than just a birth year and a death year so my tombstone will instead be engraved with a handful of random years i remember enjoying
@runolgarun: *TSA officer opens my suitcase, disembodied fist pops out and punches him* me: sry sir I forgot I packed a powerful punch *TSA guns me down*