@SamGrittner: I'm God's gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
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@Sickayduh: *sees commercial* "Talk to your kids about drugs before its too late" "Kiddo. Kitchen. Now" - Yeah? "This is oregano. Don't get ripped off"
@thenatewolf: Women are so confusing, one day they say they love hummus and then the next day they say it’s a bad birthday present.
@BuckyIsotope: *shows up to date with broken nose* "What happened?" Hurt myself playing football "How?" Threw the controller at a wall and it bounced back