@SamGrittner: I'm God's gift to women if he stopped at a gas station last minute.
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@sfreeze6: Seize the day. Repossess the evening. Impound last week. Forcibly confiscate the entire month of September.
@Illiter8: Oh, you thought my hair twirling was flirting? Actually, it was just me checking for split ends because you were boring the shit out of me.
@kcmoore51: I love getting kisses from my dogs but, I'm starting to worry about the one who keeps trying to give me the slow tongue.
@goldengateblond: College graduates look awfully happy for people who’ll never have an entire summer off again.