@RhinoUR: I'm Godzilla's gift to women!!!
*walks around toy store
destroying doll houses*
@BlindVigil: I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn't recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
@SignsofNature: I do not delete bad tweets that get no stars... I let them sit there and think about what they've done...
@birbigs: You guys, The Hunger Games movie is distracting us from reality- which is, of course, The Hunger Games.
@JWilsonGA: Just saw my wife's tampon string hanging out while she slept. Not sure, but I bet if I lit her fuse she'd explode bigger than any firework.
@TheWoodenslurpy: Most embarrassing thing a human being can experience is publicly unrequited love. Second is having the noisy grocery cart.