@RhinoUR: I'm Godzilla's gift to women!!!
*walks around toy store
destroying doll houses*
@Brampersandon_: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD: grandma what big eyes you have
WOLF: u really think I look like ur grandma? I should eat u just for that u dumb shit
@kumailn: Michael Bay looks like if cocaine was a person.
@ArfMeasures: [1st date]
DATE: When I'm with a handsome man I get all nervous & involuntarily start speaking French
ME [leans across] Oh really?
@Jack9eight5: As a pot smoking narcissist, my life is all smoke and mirrors
@Fried_Tweeter: Whoever named a pack of Hyenas a Cackle should name more groups of animals.