@SteelFontana: I'm going as "Twitter Elite" for Halloween. I'm going to randomly say unfunny things and not talk to anyone who speaks to me.
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@davedittell: UNICORN: I love the forest! I love my horn! Life is wonderf— [Pegasus flies over chased by babes] UNICORN: God why have you forsaken me
@SimplyNamedTron: How to dress like Lady Gaga: 1. Go to ikea. 2. Pick a object that doesn't belong on your head. 3. Put it on your head.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: what interests you about this job? Me: the pay Interviewer: can you be more specific? Me: cash
@yobrah_: I usually base my religious and political beliefs on flyers and pamphlets handed to me on the street.