@SteelFontana: I'm going as "Twitter Elite" for Halloween. I'm going to randomly say unfunny things and not talk to anyone who speaks to me.
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@mattchew81: A nicer way to tell someone their breath stinks is to say "I'm bored, let's go brush your teeth!"
@Maxine12333: Neighbor asked me over for coffee and said 'make yourself comfortable', so I did, I went home.
@MarfSalvador: Wife: Will he still able to play the accordion? Doc: Ma'am, your husband has no brain function whatsoever Wife: So yes then