@1Happytwit: I'm going commando for Valentines day. He's going to be so surprised when I parachute into his yard and blow up his house.
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@LionJenkins: Lawyer: Your Honor, this verdict is bullshit. I'm outta here! Judge: Litigator! Lawyer: After a while crocodile.
@pstamato: Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation.