@1Happytwit: I'm going commando for Valentines day. He's going to be so surprised when I parachute into his yard and blow up his house.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AbbyHasIssues: I just typed "cupkale" instead of "cupcake" and accidentally invented what has to be the worst dessert idea ever.
@AsgardianRose: To the people who have lost one shoe on the side of the road... Are you okay? How does that even happen?
@amandajpanda: I am now referring to my parents as numbers like you guys refer to your kids. 72 & 70 are coming to visit, send wine.
@_SingleBabyMama: As an adult very few things are less humiliating than being caught in public trying to be cute for a selfie.